Hi, I kind of have a problem. I'm definitely turned on by my girlfriend and I love kissing her passionately etc. She is the first girl I’ve been with, but I know I love her. She doesn’t want to scare me by taking things too fast so she's kind of just leaving things up to me. I know that I want to be fully with her and I do get caught up in the moment with her but then I just kind of get scared that I don't know what I’m doing since I’ve never been with a girl before. I guess I’m just afraid I’m going to do something wrong. How do I overcome this fear?
First of all, good for you both for acknowledging your fears and taking things slow. Hopefully my advice will help quell your fears.
As far as your fear of doing something wrong, let me say there is not “right” or “wrong” way to have sex. Sure, you are inexperienced and have never been with a woman before, but every woman is different. What turns one on, may be a turn off to another.
That is why communication is so important. And it sounds like you and your girlfriend have pretty good communication skills. It’s great that you have such an understanding partner for your first time.
My advice is to continue to take things slow with your girlfriend. Continue to talk about what feels good. Where does she like it when you touch her? Where does she not like it? Where would she like you to touch her more? Let her teach you where and how she likes to be touched. Instead of being afraid of doing something wrong, look at it as a learning experience. Sure, you might fumble from time to time. No one wins the Indy 500 her first time driving a car. Your skills will improve with time. And if you have good chemistry, skills really do take a back seat.
As you become more comfortable with yourself and with her, I’m sure you’ll find lots of ways to please each other.
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