- Making eye contact OR not making eye contact
- Smiling a lot when she is around her
- Introducing herself to the femme if they don’t know each other yet
- Staying nearby and sneak peeking at the femme OR staying in the background and observing her from a distance
- Complimenting her without making it too obvious
- Touching her in a non sexual way –
something small and almost unnoticeable like touching her arm, holding
her hand, touching her hair when you help her take off or put her coat
back on.
- Listening to what she says and making sure the femme knows she’s paying attention
- Telling a few jokes to find out if the femme enjoys her company and sense of humor
- Finding out her favorite mode of communication (chat, text, call, Skype) because she plans to communicate via that mode
- “Just because” text messages and phone calls
- Burning her a CD or downloading a playlist to her iPod
- Interacting with her friends to find out
where the femme will be – this specific butch said she wants to know
everything about a femme and everywhere she is going which, mmm, is kind
of borderline stalking in my book.
- Asking one of the femme’s friends if she
thinks the femme is into her – I do not recommend doing this for two
reasons: (a) the femme’s friend may like the butch for herself or may
not even be a real friend (b) the femme may not want to be with a butch
who acts as if she were in high school (i.e. grow some balls!).
- Finding out common hobbies or pastimes so that she can plan ahead and ask the femme out on a date
- Making plans to go somewhere – something
casual like a coffee date – to get to know her a little better before
asking her out on a date (and that’s where this other butch lost me!)
- Making plans to go out with a group of
butches and femmes so that she can observe the femme without the
pressure of being on an official date
- Being extra careful to make sure she never embarrasses the femme in front of her friends, relatives or colleagues.
- Buying her drinks or dinner, flowers, or something she mentioned to show her she was paying attention
- Flirting openly
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