When you're coming out of the closet, it can be hard to
know where to meet other lesbians or bisexual women. If you're not into
the bar scene and are not ready to put yourself out there for dating,
but just want to meet other lesbians or bisexuals for friendship, where
do you go? Here are some ideas of great places to meet other lesbians
and bisexual women.
In
many cities and small towns, the only place to meet other lesbians may
be in the lesbian bar. If you are not into the “club scene” try going on
a night other than Friday or Saturday. You may find an open mic or
karaoke night. On “off” nights you’re more likely to find an atmosphere
that's more low key and friendly than the party weekend scene.
2. Gay and Lesbian Center
If there’s a gay
and lesbian center in your town, it can be an excellent place to meet
people. Many gay and lesbian centers have support groups, rap groups,
book and movie groups and political action activities. Find one that
feels right to you and you’re sure to meet other like-minded lesbians
and bisexuals.
3. Sports Teams
Many
cities have recreational sports teams, whether it be softball,
volleyball or basketball. It’s no secret that lesbians love sports. Some
have whole leagues for gay and lesbian athletes, other have teams that
are “known” to be the teams lesbians play on. You don’t have to be an
athlete to get in on the action. Sports like softball and rugby often
have many lesbians in the stands watching. It can be a great place to
people watch and start a conversation with a stranger.
The
best place to meet other lesbians with interests similar to your own is
to get involved in activities that interest you. Volunteer at the local
animal shelter. Join the local gardening club or bird watchers group.
The lesbians who are there may be few, but you know you’ll have
something in common with them.
5. Through Friends
Let
friends and coworkers know that you want to meet other lesbians and
bisexuals. Have them invite you over for dinner or game night. Let them
know you’re just looking to make friends. Once you meet one or two
lesbians that you get along with, you may end up meeting their friends
and be welcomed into a whole new circle of people.
Sure
most people think of the Internet as a place to meet lesbians to date,
but it can also be a great place to meet women for friendship. You can
put an ad up that says you’re just looking to make friends and answer
other women’s ads that say the same thing. Who knows, you may even hit
if off with someone and take it further than just friends.
7. Church
If
your area has a church that is an “open and welcoming” congregation,
that means the church is welcoming to gays and lesbians. Also
Metropolitan Community Churches, United Church of Christ and Unitarian
Churches, among others are known to be welcoming of gays and lesbians.
8. Gay Neighborhoods
Almost every major city has a neighborhood
where gays and lesbians tend to live. There’s sure to be a coffeehouse
or café where the lesbians will congregate.
9. Straight Clubs
When I was in my 20s, there
was this hot female rock singer that we used to love. We didn’t know it
for sure, but we suspected she was a lesbian. We would go to her shows
and sure enough, every time we did, there were plenty of other lesbians
there. Keep your eyes peeled for shows and concerts that lesbians are
likely to attend.
10. Gay Newspaper
Pick
up a copy of your local gay paper. There may be personals ads, a
calendar of events or announcements for dances, plays, art shows,
concerts and other activities. Check out one that interests you. Invite a
gay-friendly straight friend to come along if you’re too shy to go by
yourself.
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